Throughout this year, I grew to be at peace and awakened my power. My awareness to becoming unfuckwithable surfaced when I affirmed that my power was not bound by fear, but protected by my peace and magic. This is my journey throughout 2017. The good, the bad, and the WTF! Like a lotus, I’ve blossomed through the mud and bloomed into self-awareness and enlightenment. There’s always beauty in the struggle after you’ve embraced the process. I share this with you as an open collection of my reflections, emotions, inspirations, and excerpts of personal journal entries throughout my journey. Becoming unfuckwithable is rooting your true self where NO ONE can touch your:
“Letting Go Vs. Letting It Be” -12/7/16
Lately, I’ve been manifesting to live in peace….
…..What does peace require?
My Health Is Wealth
“Believe in yourself, Health is wealth.” -2-Chainz x ‘Rolls Royce Bitch’At the start of 2017, I took on the 21-Day Vegan Challenge—just to see if I could accomplish it. Unbeknownst to me, the excursion granted me superpowers. I chose to fill my body only with pure and natural foods, which ultimately shifted my views on reality, my energy, self-perception, and relationships with others. For a short time after my veganism victory, I flexed my diet a little too hard and admittedly learned that my body, mind, and spirit were not as light and clear as I thought I’d grown them to be. Self-awareness begins when the veil is lifted from your eyes (third included) and heart. It’s one thing to be present in our relationships and environments, but on a higher stream of consciousness, you’re aligned with how your body and mind rejects unfulfilling dynamics. Thus, you turn within for self-fulfillment. Yoga became my escape. A place where I could love and discover myself. Meditation disciplined me into trusting myself enough to analyze my wounds and to discover honest ways to heal them. This shift in my perception evolved into my lifestyle. I took charge.
“And so it begins…” -6/21/16I fully embrace the journey of discipline in learning about myself physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
Protecting My Space
“Dark energies we don’t touch.”- Lil Uzi Vert x Neon GutsThere’s a level of self-actualization that must be acknowledged before you can successfully guard your space. It’s as simple as knowing your holistic (spiritual, mental, and physical) worth and what you will not allow to disturb or devalue it. At the end of the day, all you have is yourself and while trust is the Captain of this ship, discernment and intuition serve as the undoubtable guide.
I learned to stop being afraid to give a firm NO and started creating boundaries. Protecting my space is dropping others’ burdens and baggage, as well as severing unhealthy, codependent relationships. I discovered the fine line between not making others’ issues my own while also offering support during a time of need. Drama does not pay my bills nor positively contribute to my health, therefore I choose not to welcome that toxicity into my space. Instead, my energy began attracting those who were also seeking positivity. Protecting my space is also protecting my mental health. I stopped watching and engaging in viral police brutality or generally violent videos. I know and believe that Black Lives Matter, but I don’t have to be a witness to one being taken away. We’ve become desensitized to such heinous acts making it “normal” to have the next #HASHTAG ready as if to say, “#WhosNext.” Likewise, I REFUSE to be entertained by Trump’s “Presidential” circus act. Protecting my space required distance between dichotomous thinking and “becoming.” However, ironically, it did not take long to discover the art of staying in my lane. If it was not directed toward me or concerned me, it did not warrant my attention and time. I stopped looking in the rear view mirror, found comfort in my blind spots, and stopped breaking my neck. Tunnel Vision. Somewhere along my journey, I arrived at a party for one! I reclaimed my time and redirected my focus on me.
“Moving On & Getting Over” – 1/20/17What I’m tired of most is being blatantly disrespected, mistreated, and taken advantage of. Although, I can be withdrawn or detached, I have so much that I want to share and give, but only when the time is right. I’m certain it will come when I least expect it. Until then, I will continue to grow and learn more about myself. This whole self-discovery & exploration phase that I’m in is surprisingly happening naturally; and what I’m learning is profound. I think the #1 thing about myself is I always have to Protect My Space. After past experiences, it is truly necessary; for me.
“You can’t heal what you never reveal.” -Jay-Z x Kill Jay-ZI never knew the power of forgiveness until I gave myself permission to self-forgive. Throughout my life, forgiveness had only been exercised to release resentment for one’s wrongdoing or betrayal—never an inward, self-acknowledgment for personal actions. Self-forgiveness requires truthfulness from within, something many evade and/or allow their pride and ego to eclipse in order to escape accountability. Years ago, I played the role of the sidechick. Early on I moved on from my offense, never acknowledging the damage that still remained in another Queen’s life. At the close of 2016, a powerful seed was planted in my heart.
Self-forgiveness is a powerful key to peace-seeking. Waiting around for others—or even the time to offer yourself permission to move on—is cheating your life. Brushing off our wicked ways toward another is a cop out. Taking accountability for wrong-doings, being manipulative, hurtful, deceitful, or vindictive toward another and boasting about it with a lack of remorse limits your opportunity to obtain your peace and freedom in life. While it may not seem as such at present, this way of expression continues to expand the more painful lessons from karma. Through time, I became rooted in my space to pray and meditate on my forgiveness while it served as a highway exit for another. My first time experiencing a lucid dream showed me that my apology and inner work had to leave the pages of my journal and I had to express my apology with my words.
“Untitled” – 9/30/16The word that rested upon my heart today was forgiveness. I am going to forgive myself and accept it for the wrong that I’ve done to her. She may not ever accept an apology from me or even admit what she feels, so I’m going to do it for myself. I’m asking for forgiveness & I forgive me.
“Forgiven” 4/6/17In the beginning, I believed that my heart and gut lead me to this process, but at the last hour it was my voice that was in charge. Never did I expect her to say that she had already forgiven me and offered me a precious gift that I will cherish forever…it warmed my heart. As the day came to a close, I felt the same emotion of harmony that I experienced in my dream. A feeling of liftedness, relief, and contentment. I commend her for her own personal growth, positivity, & openness. No drama. No stress. No hate. <3
Growth and Elevation: My Spiritual Awakening
“The more I grow, the more I double in power.” – Kid Cudi x Does It
The year 2017 led me through a series of events that allowed me to evaluate the spaces I take up in society and within various relationships. Through prayer, meditation, and journaling, I became more sensitive and apologetic for people’s feelings because ultimately, my feelings had been hurt. This brought me to self-actualize and question how can I move forward through life as a better human being in this world. I experienced a low, when I could feel in the pit of my stomach the guilt and remorse of how I not only treated others, but more importantly, myself. I acknowledged that I needed to root myself in truth and trust in order to grow. As simple as it sounds, the truth really will set you free. There’s so much possibility in growth. Why? Because the world is infinite! God is the creator of the universe. The creator of my Father, Jesus Christ. Then He created me. His power is divinely endless. His creations are breathtaking. God is EPIC! Therefore, no one can stop me. In His eyes, I have no flaws. The promise that He has for me goes beyond my wildest dreams. Who am I to doubt His power and to not know that I AM BEAUTIFUL, WORTHY, and ENOUGH? I am the embodiment of infinite possibility. To bring it back down to earth, I’ve reached my spiritual awakening. I feel myself elevating and my world shifting before me. My energy is vibrating higher. Mindfulness has offered me the permission to soak all of this in, as well as let go of what no longer serves me in order to propel. I am a prism of God. His light shines through me so that I may shine my light onto others. The physical, mental, and spiritual practice of yoga shifted my perception. Showing up for yourself and taking a few minutes in your day to meditate, breathe, and pray will free your mind for just one moment from the false paradigms and harsh realities of the world. I found peace in my stillness. I became liberated from what others think of me. I am able to plant seeds and nurture them to grow. My assignment is to spread God’s light while I journey through life, just as HE created me, owning my power, using it for good, and accepting that no one can take that away from me. That is what makes me unfuckwithable!
My garden is enormous
Planted my seeds, now I’m sprouting
They tried to kill my flower before it could bloom
….soon to bloom
You can not touch my garden